Kobayashi vs. Columbus Crew (March 9)
BANZAI! It's five minutes into the match and Daigo Kobayashi gets the ball 40 yards from goal, so naturally he's thinking... snipe it top shelf where daddy keeps the Budweiser. No big deal.
Poor Columbus goalkeeper Andy Gruenebaum, never stood a chance.
Miller vs. New England Revolution (June 15)
Step-by-step instructions on bringing the crowd to their feet, presented by Kenny Miller:
As the ball approaches, delicately flick it over your opponent's head with your right foot. Proceed by flying past him, skillfully head the ball forward before taking a touch off your right thigh, and then slot it past the goalkeeper with your left foot.